Early yesterday morning (4:00 to be exact), my eyes flew open, and I was instantly awake. I wasn't afraid. I didn't have to go to the bathroom. I was just simply awake. And just as soon as I recognized that I was awake a random verse from Genesis chapter 1, verse 2 popped into my head as clear as if a person was speaking the verse out loud to me. The verse reads, "Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." As soon as this verse ran through my brain, I felt a deep sense of peace. I feel like in this difficult time with my mom, God is here with us, hovering over us, just like he did when he created the earth. This kind of peace is different than just feeling calm on the outside. Instead it is like an anchor dropped deep into the ocean. Even when there is a storm on the surface of the water, a deep anchor doesn't move. And even though the ride may be bumpy, a deep anchor does its job and holds the boat in place. In spite of this tumultous storm we've been going through lately, I still have an anchor of peace deep within me. No matter the outcome, I know God is in control. And I can trust Him with both my future and my mom's future as well.
With all that in mind, my mom had a much better day today. The doctor took the vent out yesterday afternoon and she has tolerated it just fine! Her O2 levels are good and she is still not struggling. Her team of physicians is still trying to find the right combination of antibiotics to continue to treat the staph infection as well as the infection in her lungs. Her incision continues to look good, and she was able to get up and walk a little bit today. We're hoping her catheter comes out tomorrow so she can be even more mobile. Today I sat with her and it was so nice to get to talk to her. Her voice was weak, but we could still chat. And she could smile! Oh what a welcome sight! My girls came and waved from the doorway (they still can't come in) and she blew them kisses. Hannah reached up and "grabbed" Grandma's kisses and put them in her heart. Man they miss her! My dad took them on a walk while I sat with my mom. I am not taking any time with her for granted.
So I'm headed off to bed tonight with a sense of peace deep in my core and a sense of gratefulness overflowing in my heart.