Monday, June 18, 2012
A Happy and Sad Dream
In my dream, I was walking through my old house in Bluff Creek. I lived in that house from 1987 to 1999, when I got married. My parents still lived there until 2004 when they moved into the current home where my dad still lives today. I was alone, and the house seemed empty, but I wasn't afraid. I carefully walked through each room opening every cabinet door and kitchen drawer looking to see that everything was still in the right place. I remember opening a door in the kitchen to see the bright yellow bowls we used for cereal still stacked right where they always were. I opened the kitchen "junk drawer" and saw the orange handled scissors sitting in their place as usual. I noticed every picture hanging on the wall and thought, "That's right where it is supposed to be." Then something dawned on me, "Everything is still in its place, so I wonder if my mom is here too?"
Now at this point I want to stop with the dream and give you some background information that I promise is relevant. Whenever I was a teenager and would be out with friends, my mom would always wait up for me. At least she tried to wait up for me. More often than not, I would come home to find her sitting up in her bed asleep with a book open on her lap, surrounded by sleeping cats (we had four at the time). A lot of times the television would be on, and the lamp on her nightstand would be on too. I would come in and whisper, "Mom, I'm home!" She would wake up and smile, then she would want to know all about my evening. I remember so many nights sitting on the bed beside her chatting on and on about who was with me and what we did. Sometimes my dad would wake up and join in, but mostly he would sleep through the whole thing. It was a special time for my mom and me.
So back to the dream. I decided to see if in fact, my mom was in the house in the same spot I had found her so many nights while growing up. My heart started pounding as I walked down the hall to her room, and as I turned the corner, I saw the familiar glow of the lamp on her nightstand. Then I saw her. She was sitting up in bed asleep. I gently touched her shoulder, and she woke up. She looked right at me and smiled and said, "I'm so glad you're home!"
That was it. I woke up and had to really think whether she was still here or not. Of course I quickly figured out that she is gone. I wanted so badly to go back to sleep and try to revisit that dream. To sit beside her in bed and talk. I want to fill her in on all that she has missed these past thirteen months. Oh how I wish I could.