I remember that day. My stomach was churning as I waited the the family room. Friends and relatives gathered to talk and pray. The nurse came in and gave us a grim outlook. I was panic stricken. But it was not her day to die yet. She miraculously recovered, and March 27th did not see the end of her life. The next day I wrote the post I mentioned above. I was reflecting on how perspective changes everything. I could complain about the numerous health problems still facing my mom or I could just be thankful that she was still with us. I chose to be thankful. Little did I know, I had just six more weeks with her.
I've often thought that God doesn't allow us to see the future for many reasons. Mainly, though, I think if we saw the difficult days ahead of us (and we all have them), we would perhaps not be willing to endure them. It would be too overwhelming to walk down that road. Not knowing that I only had six weeks left with my mom made me appreciate each and every day because I didn't know if it would be her last. I am so grateful God granted us that extra time. Do I wish I had more time? Without a doubt. Do I wish we had a different outcome all together? The answer would be a resounding YES! But I also know none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, and I know God's perspective is so much higher than mine could ever be. So I rest in that.
Last March we thought we were going to lose my mom.
But we didn't.
Mom and me at my baby shower for Lucas
I like to think of her smiling and happy. No chest wounds. No tubes. No infection.
This is the way I will always remember her.