Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Aftermath

You know in a movie when a bomb goes off or there is a big explosion of some sort and the people who survive sort of stumble around with dazed expressions, ears ringing and with an overall look that says, "What just happened here?" That is the best way to describe the last 24 hours for me. Only the explosion was in my heart-- it took my breath away and brought me to my knees. I feel like I have moved in slow-motion, constantly asking myself Is this really happening? Am I really having to choose an outfit from my mom's closet for her to wear or a casket for her to be buried in? My eyes are puffy and red from the tears that have been freely falling. I have decided that I will not be able to wear eye makeup for awhile. During the day today, the grief has come in waves that at one minute bring peace and another bring a punch to the gut of sorrow. I told God earlier, "This is too hard! It is too painful!" But then I remembered a verse, one that my mom had on the wall of her hospital room, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Cor. 9:13)." Oh Lord, I am weak. Thank you for your grace. It is carrying me through.

And then I get something like this to lift my spirits:

These are from my sweet blog friend. Oh how these as well as the many emails and texts I have received have helped me in the midst of the aftermath of my mom's passing. It is hard. It will be hard. We will get through. Slowly, we will recover. So thank you in advance for helping me walk down this road. I know I am not alone.

PS-- A Memorial Service for my mom will be at 11:00 this Friday, May 6th at Putnam City Baptist Church, 11401 N. Rockwell in Oklahoma City.

3 comments:

Susan S said...

It is so hard and my heart hurts for you. How do people go through this without faith?

Jacquelyn said...

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou.

Maria Rose said...

I am so glad that you are finding moments of comfort. I wish that I could be there to help, but I am so thankful to know that you are surrounded by loving friends and family.