For the last two months, I've been attending a support group for women who have lost their mothers. We've been reading a book entitled Motherless Daughters by Hope Edlemen, and it has been such an amazing experience. Amazing and painful and emotional and tearful and wonderful all at the same time. The women in the group range in age from 34 to 86 and everywhere in between. Some of us lost our moms recently, like me. Others thirty or fifty or even eighty years ago. But the common thread between us all is that we all miss our moms. We all want and need to be mothered. Tonight we discussed the book's final two chapters, one of which was entitled "The Daughter Becomes a Mother: Extending the Line". This chapter explores how becoming a mother helps us reconnect with the mothers we lost as well as brings up a whole new cycle of grief. We had a lot of interesting discussion. I cried because I came to the realization this week that no one will love me like my Mom loved me. I know this because I am a mom now, and as crazy as my kids can act sometimes, I will always love them. When this thought hit me this week, I just sobbed. But then I realized that I also have a lot to be thankful for. Most of the women in my group lost their mothers before they ever had children. I am SO grateful that my mom was there for each of my kids' births. She was there in those first few sleepless weeks to help, give advice, or just hold a baby for awhile. She was such a comfort to me during those critical times in my life, and I never want to take that for granted.
Mom and me at the hospital waiting for Hannah and Leah's arrival. I look huge and tired (see the dark circles under my eyes?) and my mom was so excited to meet these much anticipated little girls!
December 2004
Shortly after they were born.....Mom holding Hannah and Dixie (my mother-in-law) holding Leah.
This is one of my favortie photos of all time. There is just so much love here.
Mom gazing at Lucas. "The most beautiful boy in the world," she used to say.
I think so too.
July 2009
2 comments:
So beautiful. I never had the opportunity to meet your mother, but I have gotten to see you as a wonderful and loving mother. I think that really says a lot about how you were mothered. She has passed on a beautiful legacy!
Thank you for this, Maria! I take it as one of the highest compliments I could receive. :)
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