Grief Share

Tonight I attended my first Grief Share class at a nearby church. My dear friend Laura recommended it and finally decided to check it out. One of my ways of dealing with my mom's death has been to just stay busy and try not to think about it too much. I have relied on my competence and my ability to still take care of things, but I'm learning that shoving my emotions aside doesn't really solve anything. So I decided to go.

I didn't really know what to expect, and I was nervous to allow myself to sit and feel my emotions in front of total strangers. In spite of my reservations, I decided to go.

Dinner was served and shortly afterwards, the lights were dimmed and a DVD began playing. The Grief Share video was actually pretty good. This particular session dealt with Unanswered Questions and Holding on to Hope. It was good to be reminded that it is okay to ask God questions. It doesn't show a lack of faith! And that eventually your questions will move away from asking "Why?" but instead, "How?" Eventually you will stop asking "Why did you allow this to happen, God?" but rather ask,"How can I use this to Your glory?"

After the DVD ended, we went around the room and shared our names and what had brought us to the class. As morbid as this sounds, it was nice to hear other people sharing about their losses. I thought it might be depressing, but honestly it felt good to know I am not alone. Believe me-- I have been absolutely overwhelmed with love from friends and extended family, but as an only child, I have felt a little bit lonely in my pain. I can't call a sister or brother to talk about our mutual loss. She was my mom and mine alone-- no one else knows what it was like growing up under her love, but me. There were three other women tonight who shared that they had lost their mothers. I look forward to getting to speak with them more as the weeks go on.

So for now, I think this is a good thing and I plan on attending throughout the summer. And I want to say THANK YOU again to everyone who has and continues to pray and encourage me. It means the world to me as I journey this difficult road!