Grandma's 90th Birthday

Last month, Mike and I had the priviledge of traveling up to New Jersey to celebrate his grandma's 90th birthday. Many other friends and family flew in from all over the country to be a part of this special day making it truly a birthday to remember. When Mike was five years old, his paternal grandparents moved in with the family, and so Mike grew up in the same house as not only his parents and siblings, but his Gramps and Grandma as well! Because of this, there has always been a special, "second mother" type of bond between Mike and his grandma. She truly helped raise him!

We decided since this trip was going to be a short stay, to leave our kids at home in the hands of my dad and soon to be step-mom. We hadn't traveled so far away from them in a very long time, so I was a bit apprehensive about it. But I prayed and checked in often and all went well. In fact, once I got there I was able to truly enjoy my time with just Mike and the ease of traveling without three extra little ones to take care of. I read a book, we talked, went out on a date night. It actually felt like a little vacation!

We arrived in Newark late Friday night on October 4th and woke up the next morning ready to party. Mike's sister Rachel was the main party planner, while my mother-in-law and my other sister-in-law, Tracy assisted in making the everything just right. There were lots of feminine pink touches (Grandma's favorite color) as well as plenty of food, desserts, twinkle lights and flowers. They truly made the house look special. They also put together a slide show, music performance, and a funny "How Well Do You Know Grandma?" trivia game.  We literally spent the entire day celebrating with Grandma, and I could tell she was having a wonderful time.

 Happy 90th Birthday Banner on the house

 Pretty pink desserts....

 And pretty pink mums!

 Mike and Me

 Rachel (party planner extrodinaire), her husband, Juan, and their daughter Velda (named after the birthday girl herself!)

Grandma Velda's high school graduation picture. She was (and still is) a true beauty.

(I don't know why my pictures are so small! I can't get them to go any bigger! Grrrrr....)

Now...what should we do on her 100th? :)

A Special Bond

Sibling relationships are somewhat of a mysery to me.  I am an only child.  And believe me, I have heard all of the typical thoughts on only children-- spoiled, bratty, unable to share, etc.  I'd like to think I escaped those titles.  Spoiled? My parents always lived below their means, and didn't give me whatever I wanted.  I had to save up my allowance to buy many a toy over the years.  Bratty? Sure I had moments of brattiness (especially between the ages of 13 and 15), but overall I wouldn't label myself in that way.  Unable to share? My sharing lessons came in the form of playing with friends or any of my 16 first cousins.  I'd like to think I am at an advantage here because as an only child, I was able to learn to share with others as well as play comfortably by myself at home.  

But one thing I have never experienced as an only child is the special bond between siblings. I never had anyone to pick on me or to pick on.  I never had anyone to giggle with late into the night (other than the occasional friend sleepover). I never experienced the amazing friendship that adult siblings sometimes have.  I know not all siblings get along swimmingly, but for the ones that do, I have to say that I am jealous.  Especially now that my mom is gone, I so desperately wish I had someone to share family memories with.  To laugh about inside family jokes. I see this friendship with Mike and his siblings and am at least thankful that I get to experience wonderful relationships with all my sibling in-laws. 

Watching my children develop their own special bonds is something quite amazing.  Especially between my daughters, Hannah and Leah.  Not only are they siblings, but they are twins and have shared everything throughout their lives-- from space in my womb to the same birthday to a bedroom to all of their toys.  They have never known a day apart. These two amazing young ladies are such a sweet example of sisterhood.  Yes, they fight. What sisters don't? But deep down they posses a deep and abiding love for each other.  They are fiercely protective of each other, and they are known to go off into serious gut-busting giggle fests that last for an hour or more.  They play well together, and even finish each others' sentences.  My prayer for them is to have an amzing friendship throughout their entire lives.  I am glad I get to foster this relationship and watch it continue to grow over the years. 

 I love Leah's glasses in this picture

At the State Fair

"New" Crayons

This past Saturday was cloudy and cool.  Rain drizzled down in a fine mist all day long.  It was the perfect day to stay in our pajamas and do some crafting.  I have never considered myself to be a crafty person. I can't sew.  I don't knit or paint or make floral arrangements.  I come from a long line of crafters, so I have always found my crafting deficiency to be quite sad, really.  I suppose that the crafting gene just skipped over me somehow.

However, in recent months, I have decided that the term "crafter" doesn't apply to me as much as the term "creator".  I've always considered myself to be a creative person.  I love to read and write and my imagination has always been larger than life.  So this past Saturday, I was itching to create something. I looked around at our limited supplies and suddenly remembered an idea that had come to me via an email chain a long time ago-- we can make "new" crayons! I enlisted the help of my three eager little people, and we got to work.

First, we got out our out-of-control tub of crayons and sorted through them all, setting aside the broken ones to use for our project (*bonus! you get to clean out your out-of-control crayon tub!).  Then I had the kids take off all the paper wrappers and place the waxy, colorful bits into a bowl.  This ended up taking quite a bit of time, so I pitched in and we eventually got it done.

Peeling off the paper proved to be quite satisfying

Ready to bake

Next we found an old cupcake tin (mine was gross and ready to be thrown out soon, so it worked great).  If you don't want to potentially ruin your cupcake tin, you can use foil cupcake liners in the cups.  We then placed a rainbow assortment of crayon bits into each cup.  If you have enough crayons, feel free to make singular colors like red, orange, yellow, etc. My kids were more excited to see the colors swirl together.  It's whatever floats your boat. Place the crayons in a pre-heated 250 degree oven for 15 to 20 minutes.

Fresh from the oven

When you take them out of the oven, you will have hot, swirly cups of liquid wax much like a tie-dyed t-shirt.  Let them completely cool, them pop them out!

 Our stack of "new" crayons

They are kind of mesmerizing, right?

My kids loved their new creations, and I even considered the whole experience a bit of a science lesson. Now I will say, these crayons are not good for detailed coloring.  They have no pointed tip and the rainbow colors came out muddled together in a nice shade of brown.  But the point of the project was to have fun creating something together. With that criteria in mind-- mission accomplished. I have to say I patted myself on the back for actually doing something crafty. I just might go join pinterest after all. 

Coming Out Of The Pit

Hello?  Is this thing still on?  It's been a few weeks since I have felt like sitting down to write something here.  Let me just jump right on in and say that I have been in a deep emotional pit these last few months.  How did I end up there?  I'm not sure exactly, but here's what I know: 1. For six months I saw my mom deteriorate and suffer in a hospital room.  I saw things that I have not wanted to go back and revisit in my brain, so I have "stuffed" those memories to a dark mental corner where I didn't have to think about them. 2. My mom died sixteen months ago.  Coupled with the images of her slow decline, I chose to again just not think about this as much as possible.  3. For the last year I have been trying not to process my loss too much.  Mostly I just shove my feelings aside and press on as best as I can. 4. Some events that happened this summer caused me to have to deal with some issues and feelings that I have been avoiding. 5. I emotionally bottomed out.

Now, before you think I am completely crazy, please know that I am doing SO much better right now.  And I know that writing about my grief here on my blog has been extremely helpful (so helpful it has given me a new idea for something in the future, but more on that later....).  But because the events that have transpired over the last few months involve other members of my family who read this blog, I haven't been able to write openly about my feelings lately.  Feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment, pain, loss, unmet expectations, and fear.

The fact is, I needed more than the short break I gave myself back in July.  I have needed to take a much longer blog break so that I could deal with some things.  Two weeks ago, I had a breakthrough.  I had just finished spending an hour reading my Bible and praying when I walked to my mailbox and discovered a letter.  Before I get into that, let me say that I have been studying the book of Genesis this fall.  The word "genesis" is Hebrew for "beginnings." I have been praying and asking God to help me accept this new beginning in my life.  In January, my dad is getting married.  This marks a very new beginning for my family.  So back to the letter....When I opened the envelope I discovered a letter from my soon-to-be step-mother.  It was very sweet and very honest.  She expressed her desire to want to have a good relationship with me and my family, not as a mom-replacement, but as a friend.

In the weeks since I received that letter, I have felt a big weight come off of my shoulders.  It has literally opened a door for communication between us, and it has alieveated my fear of losing my dad in all this new change.  In addition, I have started seeing a counselor on a regular basis to talk through things.  It has also been a big help.

I am starting to feel like I am back on steady ground.  I know there will be some challenges ahead as the wedding date draws closer, but I feel so much better about where things are right now.

So that's me right now.  Alive. Breathing.  Thankful.

New Books at East Side

 Two of my Mom's favorite things have always been books and kids. When she graduated from college with a degree in Special Education, she included reading to her special needs children as a part of her work.  After a few years of teaching a special education class however, she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and had to take a few years off from teaching to go through her many surgeries as well as chemo and radiation treatments. When she finally was in remission, her body was so weak from battling cancer that she couldn't return back to the special ed classroom which required a lot of physical energy.  Instead, my mom got a part time job at the local public library and there truly found her calling.  Being immersed in children's literature and reading to the children during story hour both created a new passion.  Soon after she started working at the library, she found out I was on the way.  Once again, her career got put on hold as she stayed home with me for many years. Finally, when I was in fifth grade, she was able to go back to college and get her Master's Degree so she could fulfill that calling she had many years ago-- to be an elementary school librarian.

In 1990 she landed her first job at Eastside Elementary, a school in the middle of an economically depressed area on the city's southeast side.  When she arrived, the library had long been neglected and was seriously underfunded.  My mom saw this as her personal challenge.  She wrote grants, ordered new books, started after school reading programs, and brought in guest authors and illustrators to inspire her students.  She had story time, craft time, and helped older students with research papers.  She really rolled up her sleeves to make the East Side Elementary library a sparkling jewel in the middle of a run down area.  She loved it and worked hard at it until her heart condition forced her into an early retirement 12 years later.

So this year, on the one year anniversary of my Mom's death, my friend Beth spearheaded a project to collect new books and donate them in my Mom's name to the Eastside library.  Beth contacted the current librarian, who was thrilled to be a part of the project, and she called all of our friends to encourage them to donate a book or two.  And on that one year date, Beth presented me with the bags and bags of books all ready to donate in my Mom's memory.  It meant so very much to me.  Over the summer my dad and I added some books to the collection and this past Friday, my dad and Lucas and I drove 40 minutes across town to deliver them to the library-- my mom's library.  It was really special.

Just a small sampling of some of the new books

Beth had made sure that each book contained this sticker.

Eastside Elementary

The school is across the street from an air force base so rumbling sounds of jets taking off and landing are as common as a clock ticking to these students.

 My dad and Lucas checking out the fish tank in the library

So many memories here.  

I'd like to think my mom is smiling each time a child picks up a book.

Great Wolf

Lucas at Great Wolf Lodge

This was one of the few moments I could get him to be still for a picture.  

Otherwise he was all go, go go!

Last weekend we packed up and headed south to Dallas for a trip down to Great Wolf Lodge.  It was our third trip there, but the first time to go in the summertime which meant we could use both the indoor and outdoor pool areas.  And we purposefully timed the vacation to coincide with the first day of Dallas schools so that it wouldn't be crowded.  Score!  We basically had the whole place to ourselves.  When we finished going down a water slide, we would just get up, grab our tube, head back up the stairs and go again-- no lines!  Mike and I realized on this trip that we are getting into a new phase of vacationing with our family, a season of increased independence and adventure.  We are no longer toting an infant who requires nursing or who is on a strict schedule.  Our girls are almost 8 and are capable of entertaining themselves in the car, going to the bathroom on their own (by that I mean they can go to a public restroom without me now), and on this trip they were tall enough to ride all the slides! Even the really tall and scary ones! They could even ride them by themselves! They also know how to swim and don't need life jackets anymore.  Mike and I had so much fun just being silly and letting loose in the wave pool and the lazy river and the Howlin' Tornado (check it out below. yep we all did that!).  Lucas, only recently age 3, still needed quite a bit of care.  Not infant level care, but we couldn't just let him go yet.  He needed his floaties in most areas and he couldn't do many slides, just a few in the kiddie area.  But he still had a blast and enjoyed getting to play with us.  I think it is so important for our kids to see us having fun with them.  No cell phones, no computers, no "to do lists".  We just woke up, put on our suits and asked, "What should we do first?"  I love getting away with my family and look forward to all the phases of growth that are still to come.

Here's the inside of the Howlin' Tornado.  Instead of these lovely people in the photo above, imagine Mike, Hannah, Leah and Yours Truly sliding up and down the huge half-pipe full of spraying water. We loved it!

This and That

Lucas had a great first day at school today!  He was clingy when I first dropped him off, but then he started playing and waved good bye.  When I picked him up, he was having a snack and his teachers said he had a great day.  That boy is so sweet.  Do you know what he did?  When we got home from school he leaned over and kissed me on my chest and said, "I kissed your heart, Mommy!"  Oh man, he is a charmer.

The girls are about to finish up their first full week in 2nd grade.  Tomorrow is their first spelling test of the year and they are fully prepared to ace it.  This weekend we are heading down to Dallas to take a little family vacation to Great Wolf Lodge.  Seriously, if there is one in your area and you have kids, go check it out.  It is such a fun family getaway.  My kids are really stoked!

There is big news in my family right now- my dad is getting married in January.  I will write more about this later, but one of the main things leading up to this event is that he is selling his house and building a new home with his future wife.  This fall I will have the monumental task of going through the rest of my mom's things.  Let me rephrase that-- going through ALL of my mom's things.  This will be a large and painful task, but I know I can't keep it all.  This past weekend, I decided to move my old desk, from my old room over to my current house.  I've been needing a desk all of my own, and I am super pleased with my new space.  Now Mike and I can work together in the office-- him at his desk, and me at mine.  The desk itself is an antique roll top with all kinds of interesting word work.  I love it.

My "new" desk.  I love all the nooks and crannies for storing pencils and paper.  

Also, the photos on top were just the same ones my mom had up at her house.  I will eventually change them.  Not sure it's my style to have a big photo of me on my desk. Ha!

My mom and I scoured lots of antique stores to find just the right desk, so it has some special memories attached to it.